Do you have aging parents? Are you aging? Do you care for people who are aging? Katy Butler’s “Knocking on Heaven’s Door: The Path to a Better Way of Death” is a must read! This memoir, which covers a grueling, eight-year caregiving journey, had me laughing, crying, and totally engaged. It is the best book of 2013!
Katy Butler’s father suffered a stroke in 2001 which left him disabled but able to function in a limited capacity. After rehabilitation, he returned to his Connecticut home and his wife of many years. Katy’s long-distance caregiving relationship began as she stayed involved in her parents’ lives from her home in California and frequent trips across the country. As Katy’s father’s condition declined, her mom’s caregiving journey was more “in-your-face”. She was frustrated, overwhelmed and suffered depression as she watched her self-reliant husband disappear. Katy’s story covers the complicated relationship between parents and children, the current state of medical care for those in the last years of their lives, a bit of Zen Buddhism, and the art of dying. Her tale is both beautifully written and educational. You will experience the heart-break and be up-lifted by the love in the Butler family story.
Every American over the age of forty must read this book. Often material this important won’t hold your interest. But Ms. Butler is able to weave the personal and the informational aspects so expertly you won’t be able to put the story down. You will learn how to talk with a dying person. You will learn questions to ask your doctor. You will learn about the last phases of life and notes on how to shepherd a parent, spouse or friend through those phases. Truly – this is the most important book released in 2013. You must get a copy, read it and pass it on! In Katy Butler’s own words: “That way, when the time comes to say “Good-bye”, you are ready.”
JanNow 
Makes me want to read this book!
You can read my copy if you like Laura.
This sounds like an amazing book. Within my role (admission for assisted living) I often see the “children struggling. This book seems like it would be a gateway to have “the conversation.” Personally I would like to understand what my parents want. I am assuming this conversation will be uncomfortable for me, however it is essential. I would like to barrow the book as well.
I’ll take you up on that offer, Janis.
Having had the experience of helping both my parents with end of life decisions (some they agreed with, many were difficult and painful for all involved) I would concur that the book outlined by Janis should be a must read for all of us.